How our seats during Mass helped me pray

We are creatures of habit and where my husband Jeff and I sit during Mass is certainly a reflection of that: second section from the right, towards the middle/front. During Mass today, on the feast of Mary, Mother of God, the normalcy of a view that I've observed many times before became a gift of comfort, particularly as I prayed for the healing of grief during the coming year. The view was that of the Nativity scene and crucifix at our home parish - St. Vincent de Paul.

The Nativity scene at St. Vincent's placed near the foot of the crucifix.

The Nativity scene, surrounded by the gentle glow of lights contained within evergreens is nestled at the foot of the large crucifix. I was reflecting on the simple beauty of the Nativity scene and the often-used phrase "Jesus is the reason for the season." During the usual joyous Advent anticipation, it's an easy leap to imagine that Jesus-as-infant is the reason for the season's celebrations.

But the placement of the two moments in Jesus' life together made me think that the "reason" wasn't that Jesus was born to live on Earth... He was born to die and secure our salvation. Jesus Christ-the-crucified is the reason for the season. Which certainly feels like a more somber and Lent-based approach to that same phrase.

I felt my smile lower and sadden. My mom passed away this year and as I've continued to grieve and process, I've noticed my sensitivity to Death's insertion into not just the normal cycle of life, but also the moments that are supposed to be happy as well. Selfishly, I wanted to just focus on the Nativity, and not be reminded that Lent was just a few liturgical cycles away.

Fortunately, our faith doesn't teach us that Death remains in sorrow, and fortunately, my focus didn't linger there for very long. Because while the foreground of my vantage point highlighted two moments in the biblical life of Jesus, I realized that my view also contained the source of summit of our hope and joy. Just behind the wooden tree, my eyes focused in on Jesus as He shows Himself to us today- fully alive and present in the Holy Eucharist.

And the gift of where my husband and I sat during Mass is a reminder that the joy of Christmas- the birth which leads to our salvation- remains because Jesus remains with us. Death doesn't win. Jesus conquers it and all the sorrow that goes along with it.

My smile returned and my prayer expanded. Jesus, turn my grief into praise and help me place my sorrow, not at the cross, or the nativity, but placed before You alive in the Holy Eucharist today. Amen.