Helpful Hints for Interview Parts 1 & 2

Originally written for the View From the Polish Amazon blog Friday, February 10, 2006

Helpful Hints for Interviews Part One

Okay, it's been awhile since I've posted a message. So I'm going to make this one count!

Alright, I know that there are some job seekers out there. And since I'm currently conducting interviews, I'm going to give you the inside scoop and some helpful hints!

So let's play a little game with multiple choice.

Question: How should you dress for an interview?

A. A tasteful business suit with professional credibility.

B. Khakis or Dockers with a sweater that you got for Christmas and brown leather shoes that you forgot to polish.

C. Worn-out black jeans, with a black turtleneck and University of Michigan sweatshirt, complete with running shoes and a cell phone in the zipper pocket that goes off during the interview TWICE.

And the correct answer is A.

And furthermore, if you even considered that answer C could be even halfway acceptable, you are a dumbass and I wouldn't hire you either. (Yes, folks, this is a TRUE story)

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Originally published Sunday, February 12, 2006

Helpful Hints for Interviews Part Two

NEVER..... I REPEAT...... NEVER is it EVER okay to respond with swear words, vulgar slang, racial slurs or with offensive comments during an interview.

I shall demonstrate an example of the recommendation in the following conversation.

This is what NOT to do.

Interviewer: "In this line of work, sometimes you have to deal with folks who aren't really interested in getting help for their addiction, because perhaps they are referred from the court system. How do you deal with confrontation?"

Applicant: "Hell, smack 'em up side the head! Haha! No, seriously, they are in a state of denial, and that's not just a river in Egypt. I would force them to accept whatever I said because really, once they get to group/treatment, they can sit there and it's like, 'no shit! this shit really works!' And besides, different ethnic groups experience addiction differently than others, especially differently than us white people."

(Editor's note: You can't make this stuff up people. Needless to say, this candidate was escorted out of the office before the interview was completely finished.)